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Home Drumset - Drummer Jokes Drummer Jokes Page 10
Drummer Jokes Page 10

Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, "I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar,
I'm such a good salesman." The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the
guys." "Ok," says the first, "you're on." The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to
them and tells the first salesman, "Here, this one." This first subject is dressed in a threepiece
suit and is carrying Wall Street Week. The salesman asks him, "What's your IQ?" "190." So
they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean geometry.


"Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but you still have two to go." He looks
around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The
salesman asks him "What's your IQ?" "About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball,
cars, and the various women in the bar. "Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's still one
to go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a really scummy looking guy in a muscle shirt
and shorts. The salesman asks him "What's your IQ?"

"About 60.",,,,,,,

"What kind of sticks do you use?" 

There is a bar with a bunch of drummers in it and they are all yelling "51 days, 51 days!" and
more and more keep coming in, they are all ordering drinks and yelling "51 days! 51 days!" the
bartender has a puzzled look on his face as more and more come into the bar and order more
and more drinks and chant and chant. finally, the bartender asks one of the drummers why
they are all celebrating and chanting"51 days! 51 days!" the drummer answers with, "well, we
all just finished a puzzle in 51 days and the box said 2 to 4 years!"

A drummer walks into a library and says: "Hi I'll have a burger, fries, and a large coke." The
librarian responds: Sshhhh....do you know where you are? This is a library!" The drummer,
sheepishly, and in a whisper says: "Sorry....I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke."

 

A woman goes to the doctor, who has the results of a recent blood test;
Doc: "I'm sorry to say it's not good news, you only have 6 months to live."
Woman: "Oh Dear, that's terrible. What can I do?"
Doc: "Well, you could try marrying a drummer"
Woman: "Will that make me live longer?"
Doc: "No, it'll still be 6 months, but it will seem like a lot longer".

 

This is a story that Ian Anderson, the leader of the British rock group Jethro Tull told during a
concert. The concert was in Detroit, although that is not important to know in order to follow
along.
One day, the drummer of Jethro Tull, who was named Barry Barlow, showed up for a
rehearsal wearing a pair of kilts that he had purchased during the band's recent tour of
Scotland. Ian Anderson, who as I said before is the leader of the group, was curious as to what
a person wears under a kilt. So, he said to Barry, "Hey Barry, what have you got under your
kilt?"
So, Barry said to Ian Anderson, "Well, why don't you stoop down, stick your head under and
take a look". And Ian Anderson did so and, as he later reported, with a big toothy grin, to the
crowd at the concert, "I have to tell you that what I saw was gruesome. And, as I looked at it,
it grew some more!"


There's a five-pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time,
and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up?
The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist
doesn't care about notes anyway.




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