Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the
other, "I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar,
I'm such a good
salesman." The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick
guys." "Ok," says the first, "you're on." The other grabs the guy sitting
at the table next to
them and tells the first salesman, "Here, this one."
This first subject is dressed in a threepiece
suit and is carrying Wall
Street Week. The salesman asks him, "What's your IQ?" "190." So
they chat for
a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean
"Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but you still
have two to go." He looks
around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee
shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The
salesman asks him "What's
your IQ?" "About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball,
the various women in the bar. "Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's
to go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a really scummy
looking guy in a muscle shirt
and shorts. The salesman asks him "What's your
"What kind of sticks do you use?"
There is a
bar with a bunch of drummers in it and they are all yelling "51 days, 51 days!"
more and more keep coming in, they are all ordering drinks and yelling
"51 days! 51 days!" the
bartender has a puzzled look on his face as more and
more come into the bar and order more
and more drinks and chant and chant.
finally, the bartender asks one of the drummers why
they are all celebrating
and chanting"51 days! 51 days!" the drummer answers with, "well, we
finished a puzzle in 51 days and the box said 2 to 4 years!"
A drummer walks into a library and says: "Hi I'll have a burger, fries, and a
large coke." The
librarian responds: Sshhhh....do you know where you are?
This is a library!" The drummer,
sheepishly, and in a whisper says:
"Sorry....I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke."
A woman goes to the doctor, who has the results of a recent blood
Doc: "I'm sorry to say it's not good news, you only have 6 months to
Woman: "Oh Dear, that's terrible. What can I do?"
Doc: "Well, you
could try marrying a drummer"
Woman: "Will that make me live longer?"
"No, it'll still be 6 months, but it will seem like a lot longer".
This is a story that Ian Anderson, the leader of the British rock group
Jethro Tull told during a
concert. The concert was in Detroit, although that
is not important to know in order to follow
One day, the drummer of
Jethro Tull, who was named Barry Barlow, showed up for a
rehearsal wearing a
pair of kilts that he had purchased during the band's recent tour
Scotland. Ian Anderson, who as I said before is the leader of the group,
was curious as to what
a person wears under a kilt. So, he said to Barry,
"Hey Barry, what have you got under your
So, Barry said to Ian
Anderson, "Well, why don't you stoop down, stick your head under and
look". And Ian Anderson did so and, as he later reported, with a big toothy
grin, to the
crowd at the concert, "I have to tell you that what I saw was
gruesome. And, as I looked at it,
it grew some more!"
There's a five-pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer
who keeps good time,
and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it
The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer doesn't exist, and the
doesn't care about notes anyway.
Articles by this Author: