Drumdojo

What does it mean when a drummer is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
How do you get a drummer to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
What is the dynamic range of a drum set?
On and off. What do you call a drummer with a pager?
An optimist. What does it mean when a drummer is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
How do you get a drummer to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
What is the dynamic range of a drum set?
On and off.
What do you call a drummer with a pager?
An optimist.
What's the difference between a drum set and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up a drum set.
What's the difference between a drum set and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the drums and doesn't.
What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead drummer in the road?
Skid marks in front of the snake.
What's the difference between a dead drummer in the road and a dead country singer in the
road?
The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
Why are drummers' sticks like lightning?
They rarely strike the same spot twice.
If you drop a drum set and a watermelon off a tall building, which will hit the ground first?
Who cares?
What do you do if you find a drum set in a trashcan?
Leave it.
What's the difference between a taxi & a drummer?
A taxi only has to carry 3 or 4 people at a time!
What is the difference between a drummer and dripping faucet?
The faucet has a sense of rhythm.
What is perfect pitch?
Tossing a drum set into a trashcan without hitting the sides.
How do you make a drummer's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in his ear.
What's the difference between a bass drum and a snare drum?
The bass drum burns longer.
What's the difference between a drum set and a chainsaw?
You can pawn the chainsaw.
What's the best thing to play on a drum set?
Solitaire.
What's the ideal weight for a drummer?
Four and a half pounds, including the urn.
Where does one find the obituaries of drummers?
Under "Civic Improvements."
What's worse than telling jokes about drummers?
Laughing at them!

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